So now I am one of those people too, you know, the ones who have been writing about the recent rape incident. So there have been demos, discussions,Facebook posts and lot of imaginative options to punish the rapists. Even i shared all the information I got on facebook 'blindliy' just in case if it saved anyone's life. But its not something different than what all of us have done so far. Rather I have even skipped reading some of the news and people's views on their blogs about this news. But I always wondered who are these people? I mean what 'type' of people are they? I couldnt get an answer because we havent defined profiles of these criminals at all. Being a girl I never felt any difference in behaviour towards me in my life except for certain times. As a kid, I always thought my parents liked my brother more than me and just to have a boy we 3 daughters were born. But apart from that, in school never I felt any less while competing with my classmates for the highest ranks. Rather my grand-pa was upset about me getting less marks in Sanskrit. But never thought, what I am going to do anyways with good grades.
Even later I went on studying and getting a job and had a good friend circle with many of them boys/men. Why didnt I ever meet one these animals there? Rather there have been friends who took care of me, gave me a lift home whenever it was late and made sure I was safe. There have been times when I competed with the same people for good ranks and good ratings in office and also had fights over right and wrong. But never did I an animal like this. Rather after the Delhi incident I saw many of the blogs written by men, none by a girl. I dont know why. But then the question is 'who are these people? These rapists?'For a minute I wanted to say to all my family and friends that I want to thank them for treating me equally so far. But then I realised, I dont have to thank them, its my right. But maybe I should respect them for their treatment towards to me. So again, 'who are these people?'. are they the poor,illiterate ones? Cause I am sure there must many rich ones in the list too. Rather even heard of the news where the father was killed while saving the girl from eve-teasing. So definitely not just 'poor' and 'illiterate'.Forget about rape, will these poor, illiterate people save money to terminate the girl fetus?
So who are these people? I thought maybe I should start with asking my close ones about this. If they could have some insight and see if they have ever done a discrimination? Though a collegue/friend may have respected me as a team-mate and treated me equally, has he been the same way in personal life as well? During the marriage, have you asked or expected something from your in-laws directly/indirectly? You may not have asked but have your let your parents do that? Have there been different rule in household for a girl and boy? Have you stayed late out of the house while your sister had to be home by 7? Have you been a parent where you saved for your's son's education instead of your daughter's? Have you been protective of your friend to avoid her from eve-teasing but participated in it for others? Have you called a girl 'maal','chikni','cheez' or 'item' ever? Lets say you let your daughter get all the education she wanted, but still saved something for dowry for her marriage? Have you ever fought with your wife for she gave money to her parents? When you got all that education and got good job, you became part of the upper-middle class. Have you ever ignored the incidents that happened at your village just because you didnt want to get into it? Well, I have done that and believe me it feels terrible. I dont know if I had done something had I knows earlier. But not anymore. I wouldnt let something like this go by me and stay away from it.
So my question to all my friends and family is, if we have been part of any of the above things, havent we been one 'those' people as well? At least 5%,10% or 50%. But we have been. What do you say?
-Vidya.
Even later I went on studying and getting a job and had a good friend circle with many of them boys/men. Why didnt I ever meet one these animals there? Rather there have been friends who took care of me, gave me a lift home whenever it was late and made sure I was safe. There have been times when I competed with the same people for good ranks and good ratings in office and also had fights over right and wrong. But never did I an animal like this. Rather after the Delhi incident I saw many of the blogs written by men, none by a girl. I dont know why. But then the question is 'who are these people? These rapists?'For a minute I wanted to say to all my family and friends that I want to thank them for treating me equally so far. But then I realised, I dont have to thank them, its my right. But maybe I should respect them for their treatment towards to me. So again, 'who are these people?'. are they the poor,illiterate ones? Cause I am sure there must many rich ones in the list too. Rather even heard of the news where the father was killed while saving the girl from eve-teasing. So definitely not just 'poor' and 'illiterate'.Forget about rape, will these poor, illiterate people save money to terminate the girl fetus?
So who are these people? I thought maybe I should start with asking my close ones about this. If they could have some insight and see if they have ever done a discrimination? Though a collegue/friend may have respected me as a team-mate and treated me equally, has he been the same way in personal life as well? During the marriage, have you asked or expected something from your in-laws directly/indirectly? You may not have asked but have your let your parents do that? Have there been different rule in household for a girl and boy? Have you stayed late out of the house while your sister had to be home by 7? Have you been a parent where you saved for your's son's education instead of your daughter's? Have you been protective of your friend to avoid her from eve-teasing but participated in it for others? Have you called a girl 'maal','chikni','cheez' or 'item' ever? Lets say you let your daughter get all the education she wanted, but still saved something for dowry for her marriage? Have you ever fought with your wife for she gave money to her parents? When you got all that education and got good job, you became part of the upper-middle class. Have you ever ignored the incidents that happened at your village just because you didnt want to get into it? Well, I have done that and believe me it feels terrible. I dont know if I had done something had I knows earlier. But not anymore. I wouldnt let something like this go by me and stay away from it.
So my question to all my friends and family is, if we have been part of any of the above things, havent we been one 'those' people as well? At least 5%,10% or 50%. But we have been. What do you say?
-Vidya.
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